Valentine's Day traditionally strikes fear, awkwardness and pain into the hearts of most humans. Even the well-adjusted amongst us can feel a pressurising twinge. So, for my first ever post, I would like to share with you some drawings in honour of four different kinds of love.
1. For those of you so completely, head over heels in love that you decide to forsake all others and make all sorts of promises that will be inconceivable to you in 6-18 months time. This is the stage that, immediately after a breakup, you will rue bitterly. After a few months, hurting less, you will simply question your sanity. If there is no alimony involved, one day you will think fondly upon this as a time in which everything was possible and the future rolled ahead unspoiled, an untainted adventure full of promise.
2. For the sex friends who find that they are not completely repelled by their partner's personality and could, in fact, grow to love them one day! Huzzah. It may have been coincidence that led you to vomit on his shoe at the bus stop, but greater forces were at work when he laughed it off and invited you home.
3. For those who love unrequited. To temporarily alleviate symptoms of this dreadful malady, I recommend Fiona Apple and straight vodka (The Heartbreak Apple Martini, with a twist)(The twist being Valium). Whatever you do, don't let your outsides reflect your mottled and ugly internal torment, or you will not be able to fuck your way through the pain. Lots of meaningless sex is basically the only way to come out the other side of this. Bruised, battered, possibly venereal diseased. But ready to love someone once again.
4. For Michael Fassbender, the only man ever to inspire this exceedingly creepy sentiment in me.
Happy Valentine's Day!